Inner Goddess Revolution: Power leakage
Life’s challenges leave marks on us and our own power can seep through these holes and cracks. It takes time to mend them, but it ain’t always easy. Like, Goddess Hera our vengeful side can get the best of us and revolting against the ones who hurt us is mainstream. We have politicians and officials that abuse their power by taking advantage of our power leakages. In moments of pain and suffering they prompt us to act in haste like going to war or giving the culprit the death penalty. What good is it to play on people’s emotions when you know logic and reason has left them?
Thirst for more power motivates people to continue zapping power from others. Bullies work on the same principle. When I was bullied in middle school, I gave away a lot of my power. I even wished harm on others and fell into the trap of bullying other people in the process to zap them from their own power. We all have leakages and some people conceal them really well, as for me, mine are out in the open because I believe that makes me human. However, it places me in victimhood. Leakages can appear physical, emotional, mental and spiritual.
Where do you lose your power?
I lose my power in my career pursuit. The broadcast world is jaded, cut-throat and extremely popular. I compare myself to other on-camera talent and judge my own self worth. I rescheduled my last semester of classes in college from taking the on-camera performance class to introduction to multimedia because I felt the whole program is a popularity contest and I wouldn’t last. If you didn’t participate in the on-campus television studio regularly then you were ostracized from the students. My power didn’t fit neatly into the reality of the program and I envisioned so much more for myself. My peers didn’t like this quality about me.
Are there times when you act out of spite?
Absolutely. I would be a liar if I didn’t answer this honestly. My spiteful side comes out when I know for sure that others are purely mean and don’t add love in the exchanges they have with my friends, family or myself. I need to overcome my passive-aggressive tendencies with my friends and lovers. If they inform me of things that irk their nerves and they go and do something to hurt or belittle me than I go ahead and irk away. I did this with my recent Ex. He didn’t like me cursing, but that language is automatic for me when I am heated. The phonetics of the words satisfy the flow of my frustration. Well, he would do or say something and it would definitely come across as condescending to me so I laid down a “no shit Sherlock.” He would obviously point out things that I would already know (often critiques of me) and I in turn fan the flames. It’s a mechanism I’ve developed to get out raw emotion from people. I tap into their leakages.
What do you worry over the most?
I worry about money. Seems like I need it so much to give to others, pay the bills and enjoy a meaningful life. We live in a materialistic world and I fall into this illusion.
How would your life change if you plugged up your power leaks?
I would be more confident and compassionate to others. (I am working on this, I swear!)
Inner Goddess Affirmation
I’m a positively powerful person.