Inner Goddess Revolution: Claiming my thrown
Practicing self-love is at the core of my being and most people take it as conceit because of my grandiose personality. Striving for an ultimate exchange of energy is one of my higher standards. Goddess Rhiannon’s story really connects with me because the King calls out to her to grab her attention after a long chase. So, if you don’t speak up than I’m more than likely going to pass you out of habit. It’s not really intentional but if you look well or sound on the outside then this steed will continue to gallop along without a worry. Communication is key.
There are so many people out in the world that deserve help. However, if you don’t help yourself then how are you suppose to help others? This goes to my eating habits which is the number one entry on my list of putting people before me. I come from a low-income family so food habits are greatly influenced by money. Food stamps and other government funding simply isn’t enough and we as humans must adapt. I have been blessed with a physique that accommodates for consumption (my stomach gets full easily), but there are plenty of times where I don’t eat because it’s the last food item in the fridge or pantry. I think that someone else might want it or it’s not the exact thing my body is craving. Whatever the excuse, someone else is bound to splurge in it and I would have missed out. Food is meant to be eaten.
My siblings innately understand this idea of eating you out of house and home, but I on the other hand don’t even come close. This past weekend, I have been offered to make decisions on whether I would like something to eat or drink and my answers have always been yes. If my father wants to pay for my food and drink than why not? It’s not my money it’s his money mentality kicks in. Should I be a ashamed of this? What would Rhiannon do?
How do you honestly feel about being the center of your world?
The Queen Bee position is tantalizing. I feel as though I revel in the comfort of power. However, I take precaution to assess how it will affect others. Like Goddess Rhiannon asking for her liars to be exiled instead of persecuted harshly, I know my balance and sometimes can’t come up with a logical and factual reason for my stance. I simply know. This drives people mad and so they will target my worth and when I use self-love to heal, I am labeled a narcissist.
Who is the person or thing in your life that takes center stage more often than you do?
Money hands down takes the cake all the time. My mother always said “Money talks and bullsh*t walks.” People with a better foothold in money seem to surpass me in any facet of life. Look at Oprah for an example. She comes from an impoverished heritage however her world did a one eighty. She is now the one with money and chooses to keep that money mentality with people who can afford her presence. Money is an illusion when it comes to self-worth. I just keep swimming, swimming, swimming to keep me happy.
Do you feel resentful at giving away so much of yourself to other people?
I know my recent ex would say so for himself because of how much money he spent to be with me. That was my first thought to this question and is a prime example of how automatic it is for me to displace my own feelings. Worrying about what others think of me is a constant in my life. Being bullied and held down by societal expectations warped my place on the thrown. I care about what my siblings, exes, and strangers think of me. People’s opinions of me fascinate me to no end because I don’t have the ability to see myself on the outside. I guess that’s why I want to get on television because I will be able to see and feel how I’m projected to the outside world. However, I only really know who I am and others are bound to get it wrong just like my ex.
Inner Goddess Affirmation
I’m queen of my universe.