Dear Pissy Pinner,
Covid-19 sucks ass. Not having the right colors to communicate your unique relationship also sucks ass. 2020 masked with social distancing sucks ass. However, an interesting piece of your question here cascades like pearls and lace and I find it to be the golden key. A particular key that people who are single, engaged, or married BC (before corona) would all benefit a great deal from and that’s sparking joy. And joy isn’t one flavor fits all. Your joy could very well be different than your partner’s. My joys are different from my family’s. And so on. Joy is multicolored and consequently choosing wedding colors takes on it’s own meaning so no one really experiences the same color schemes the same way. It’s our human condition to find and flourish in our own identity. And to show off our spark.
People love Pinterest because it curates content visually so people can gain inspiration. However, one does get overwhelmed by the amount of inspiration and information on the platform. And when you feel like your wedding planning is becoming a chore or a social obligation than you need that one friend to help you unplug and unmask fear. And what do you know? You came to me. I’m honored to hammer out this diamond decision with you.
Color is the way our brain discerns. What’s interesting is that color has been used as a guidepost for home trends, fashion, and on movie sets to design a multitude of moods. And mood is a compilation of hormones, social norms and perhaps booze. All to make you feel a specific way and remember that feeling. What’s weird is how society defaults to specific colors without thinking, this is what I call automaton coloring. Not all color communicates the same thing for everyone because you have to take into consideration the style, cut, weather, global pandemic settings. You know, the basics. So color and how we perceive it can easily be influenced by circumstances and our own fears. But it also can be influenced by our own thoughts and the determination we have in owning our identity as individuals and as a pair (or a set if a throuple is your thang boo).
My biggest piece of advice to couples wanting to pick the right colors for their wedding is to step outside of the pink is for girls and blue is for boys mentality or the bride must wear white default. Look deeper. Your partner and you have a unique bond. It’s an organic signature that people instantly see when you walk into the room. You want to share this with society. Creating the mood for your wedding during an election year and COVID-19 means your love can be a vehicle to escape the drudgery of everyday life. You even probably want to spark joy because joy is lost in the daily world because people rarely choose joy over their fears. Often we go into self-protection mode and that creates a desolate and distant atmosphere. Voiding our values. Dismissing our virtues. Isolating us from our victories.
A wedding during Covid-19 is brave, bold, and beautiful. What do you want your wedding to say? How do you want your guests and your family to feel when photos of your day pops up on social media as memories or inside scrapbooks? You won’t find the perfect centerpiece or perhaps the wardrobe doesn’t come in the exact color you had in mind, in this moment without fear, you have to pivot, Pissy. Are there common colors you’re saving the most on Pinterest? Are these colors painting your current mood or are they painting the mood of a long lasting enriched relationship that has triumphed through the shenanigans of every day life?
I have a friend who recently got engaged. But has been with their partner for years! I find their long awaited announcement to be a much-deserved celebration. A legal partnership no doubt, but one that has seen the multicolored moods of them both. If commitment like this were colors, a song, or even a movie, what would it be? If you look back into your own relationship and pull out specific memories with your partner, what colors, objects or themes surface? I remember colors with my family, friends and of those that held my heart.
I’d start there to spark joy. Because in these moments, joy lived. And when you pull it all together, it begins to take shape and form a fragrant signature scent of true love. Joy comes in colors you can smell, taste, touch, see, and hear. You have the power to set the world on fire with your joy. A love so hot it burns corona in the ass.