I truly don’t have a lot of purple and if you are in a metaphysical practice or obsessed with divination of any kind, I really don’t think you need to parade the lands with this color anyway.
What are you trying to prove?
This altar took more time to build because I had to go snooping in my limited purple loving stuff to find anything majestic. I still am on the hunt for great royal pieces of sugilite and chariote that welcomes my soul like an old friend.
If there was a flying purple people eater then the past week would have gladly adopted such a creature for I was entangled by so much fear and anguish.
Endless crying and emotions were by-products of my intuition’s messages.
I’ve been quietly angry and decided to not seethe in the shadows.
Worked with my ancestors a bit and just stopped caring.
People project countless ideas and expectations on others.
This past week I was told I had too little responsibility and instantly this repetitive ammunition confirmed I had to lock down and not communicate once again. I knew I was expected to give some commonplace reason and prove that I did want to see him but was far more ashamed by the reasons why I could not see him. I can’t see anyone these days including my mother because my paternal family does not pay on the vehicle I use to go out and feel responsible…independent. I also have tossed around the idea of paying for the car myself which would have avoided any and all bits of pain I experienced this week, but I was told “NO, that car is a piece of junk.”
So as you can see I’ve been up this creek of mercury retrograde without a paddle.
Not communicating is another projection held to my head at gunpoint because I don’t talk enough or get down and intimate so easily. So freely.
My whole life I never talked.
Ask my mother and father.
I simply sit and observe and be still. The epitome of monkhood but all this mindfulness and empathy clearly isn’t responsible or communicational.
When I went to Milton Hershey School, my quietude was something revered by my houseparents and teachers. I was seen as a rare impoverished fellow especially in these times of hardcore drugs, sex and violence that often wipes poor souls away.
No, I was never a rowdy extroverted queen flaunting gayness around as if the world owed me their attention in college.
I had developed a well-equipped defense mechanism to keep people away from me. This energetic Fort Knox still operates under my domain and this week I had to go within and be alone.
It may have been the change in season that prompted me to be a recluse but I loathe when people constantly project images on me because they don’t know me and don’t know how much responsibility I do have.
Generally, because I don’t brag or whine about hiccups and heartaches.
Every day I choose to be responsible by owning my life by not choosing suicide, caring for my brother by paying for his hospital bills, forking over money to cover my own debt I incurred because I was given a life changing opportunity to visit Scotland two years ago, or what about buying food to keep a bare minimum in this house?
The laundry list continues because I recycle, buy dog food, try and instill color in people’s lives for the betterment of society and somehow manage to keep an exhausting full time job as positive and perky as customer service can be.
So forgive me if I don’t message you daily, speak out of turn and flaunt my gayness around like it matters, I am just me.
Quiet and suffice to say my responsibility does not easily get noticed because I don’t talk about it.
I just do it.
Nothing to prove and nothing to say.
The next time you stumble across the color purple, think about how energy is projected toward you and do you easily soak it up and shapeshift into a manmade being or do you resist and keep true to your raw form?